Khitthung ...

I am now back again at home after 11 days in Pattaya and one in Bangkok with Tam.
The stay in Pattaya was very quiet with time mostly spent in Jomtien with the beach chair boys who have become now like friends. Of course I would have liked to know one of them more intimately, but Tam told me the boy was proposed 7 000 bahts for a night and he refused to go. So I guess these boys are for the time being off-limits. My pen rai, they were great companions for the whole time we spent on the beach and this is the most important.

I used my new-found freedom to "off" two boys, one in my hotel room and the other one in the boy's own room, but although being OK with this, Tam was not very happy because I had not told him everything ... Moreover, what surprised me since the beginning of this stay was the rudeness Tam sometimes showed towards me, including in front of others and for no reason, to the point that one of the boys we both know noticed it saying to me "Oh Tam is often scolding at you ...". In the same time, he was very social with the other boys, especially his friends and the beach attendants... It is only after coming back that I read Silom's blog who had the same problem and could explain it by the fact that his boyfriend was strained with private problems. Tam had some too (and big ones as far as he shortly told me, his mother being sent out of the house she lived in due to marital problems).

... And here we are again with my doubts betwen my own freedom and my love for Tam ... This ended quite badly as I refused him to come to the airport with me and the last picture I have from him now is one of a boy sitting on the bed, crying and not understanding this farang who wants to quit him, and wanting to find relief in drinking booze...

I phoned several times from the airport and we could only exchange words like "why do you lie me, I love you, I left Pattaya for you and you are everything for me" and "why are you so impolite with me when you are so smiling with your thai friends".

Like last year, the trip back home made me think once again about Tam only to make me realise that I love him (at least when he is smiling), that he is exactly the boy I like and that he made special efforts this year to respect my freedom and let me go alone in the bars. Moreover I know from his personal situation that for him I am like his father, who left home some years ago ... a responsability that I do not really want to assume but, hey, what can you do when a boy tells you (and when you know it is true) "if you leave me, I am alone and this life has no more interest for me".

I phoned him again from my home and told all this to him, but still now I am still unable to know if we will meet again. I hope he will find a job near his home, find new friends (and perhaps a thai boyfriend) and that he will be able to think of his future beyond one or two days ... I will try to help him as much as I can but I cannot really help a lot and my own situation is far from being secure as well. So ... wait and see the next trip to Thailand (May or October 2006 ?).

Sin City again

There is ALWAYS football on the TV in Dragon Lodge ... the boys were not looking at a live match but were playing games... So good luck if you go there and are interested in their good looks.

As I do not like to be in a hurry, I chose to come back from Vientiane staying one night in Udon Thani and then flying back to Bangkok with Nok Air. Of course in Udon we went to the local bar which has now changed it location ; from the old location you just have to go further on the soi for about 100 meters and then turning left on the soi which joins another street ; during daytime you will not notice anything but at night you cannot miss the yellow sign. The bar itself i much maller than before and mainly a karaoke place with about 7 to 10 boys all from Isan I have been told.

We then staid two nights in Bangkok, one of them being reserved (by myself) for a visit to the sleaze joints in Soi Anuman Ratchathon. Nature Boy was completely up to its reputation : as soon as I entered I saw the long haired Chiang Mai guy busy with a farang, and two another boys came to my table where they quickly showed what they had between their legs. I could do nothing but service them while another farang seemed to be very interested by the view...

Alek Boys and Super A and also Solid were rather disappointing, but My Way seems to be much favoured these days.

Coming back to Pattaya the first sight was not especially good as a guy had just jumped to his death in our hotel just at the time we arrived ... No further news including in the papers until to-day so I do not even know if he was a thai or a farang, and perhaps this is common event in Pattaya ...

Nang Ram Beach in Sattahip

In Sunee Plaza it seems there are a lot of changes in the bar scene, to-day I could see the works in Crazy were in full progress, works have also begun in Corner's Bar and in Minou Bar (last bar on the right side of the soi were Crazy is located). I visited Butt's Bar but was disappointed by the boys there. Euro Boys in full activity especially since the Kaos closure.




I found the chair boys in Jomtien very attractive ... as if the owners had realised that cute attendants help to improve the business. This was the case in the concession that I regularly visit (not the orange chairs), and we have dated four of the boys to X-Zyte to-night along with some Tam's friends, this should be a great night out ...

By the way Tam seems to have realised that our couple would not go very further if I could not get the freedom I enjoy when I am in Thailand ; I spend more evening alone while he stays with his friends, and I have even offed a boy short-time yesterday ... the first one since we met two years and a half ago ...

Trip to Laos

I am writing this from Vientiane where we arrived yesterday after a bone-breaking trip from Luang Prabang.

On October 25th we had a very nice flight from Bangkok to Luang Prabang ; we quicly set ourselves in Sayo Guest House which is quiet and near everything you want in Luang Prabang. Like others, we were aboslutely pleased by this town and this region, and two days and a half were probably not enough. We made the mandatory trip to see the sunset from Mount Phousi, and the Pak Ou and the waterfalls trips, and of course the wat visits. Tam and I enjoyed our stay a lot, as well as the food especilally in this restaurant on the Nam Khan bank (Khem Khan Restaurant if I remember well, anyway very easy to find).

Reaching Pak Ou Caves

What I enjoyed still more was the incredible grace of the Luang Prabang girls and the absolute cuteness of the boys there ... If you go near the universities east of town at about 4 pm, this is the time when all ride their bikes back home, and this should be the most incredible concentration of cute boys in the world... and smiling too. More than this, they are very prone to chat with foreigners as they are naturally open-minded and anxious to improve their English or their French ..

As for going further with them ... better not think too much about it because it is illegal to have sex with a lao national if you are not married. This does not deter some boys to come in the only gay bar in town (Khop Chai Bar) where they obviously try to make contact.

Tat Sae waterfalls near Luang Prabang

The trip to Vientiane was much less nice .. I had bought two seats on the daily VIP bus for this long and hilly 9 hour trip, only to discover when arriving at the station that the VIP bus in question was full. The travel agency had merely NOT sent the reservations, although this seems to be the minimum service that you would await from a travel agency ... (Better to avoid this travel agent facing the Sayo GuestHouse...). So with 5 other infortunate farangs we had to go on another air-conditionned bus, and then to change for a crowded minibus, and after arriving at about the middle of the trip, had still to change again for a local bus full with lao people (not that I do not like them) ... and rice sacks.

I was very disappointed, Tam got angry and this spoilt the trip which could have been a great one because of the unique mountain landscape (especially from Luang Prabang to Vang Viang). And I do not tell about the sudden diarrhea I got because of the shackles in the local bus because this would be very nasty ...

We are now in Dragon Lodge in Vientiane where the staff is really cute and smiling but more interested at looking at football than making contact with foreigners (perhaps they would be if I were not already with a boy ?) Generally speaking the service in Laos is far from being perfect especially when you come from Thailand but they are always smiling and they always make their best when you ask something.

What is the program for to-night? Probably restaurant, disco and another beer in the Dragon Lodge lounge, perhaps there will not be football on TV to-day ?

Rest cure in Pattaya

After three other days in Pattaya we will leave to-morrow (Monday) and fly to Luang Prabang ; Pattaya was a big mess throughout these three days as it was a long holiday for thai workers (at least those who are lucky enough to work in banks or public office or big companies) and the street to Jomtien was packed with Bangkok-plated cars. As for the weather it was not that good and to-night it rains so the bars are a little bit desert ...

What's new in Pattaya ? Well everything has been wroten about already, some bars are close (XXX), some will open very soon (Sawatdee in Boys Town) ... routine before high season I guess.

Tam let me walk alone so I could enjoy the new faces and new bars in Sunee while he enjoyed the disco and the new pictures. We both went to Jomtien every day ... the beach attendants in our concession (not the orange chairs) definitely more attractive than last year...

As I enter into the wild Laos I do not know if I will be able to log some details before I come back on the first of November

One week in Thailand

Already one week and to-day is the first time I can find a decent connection to Blogger.com. Anyway these first days were great but nothing extraordinary except the fact that everyday in Thailand is an event ...

I arrived on Monday and my boyfriend was waiting for me ; we spent the first three days in Bangkok, eating, sleeping and having sex being the nicest pastimes. I brought Tam to some sleazy joints in Silom and he did not like them, I brought him to most Saphan Kwai venues and he did not like as well. No new bar in Saphan Kwai and Aladdin is now closed for works, I do not know whether it will open again. Some farangs were to be seen but I could notice many more asian customers than before, especially girls who like to visit the karaoke bars. As for the rest of our time it was mostly "up to Tam" and included having a great meal in Ratchada and pedalling bikes in Suan Rotfai just before the rain.

New staff has arrived in Jomtien

We are now in Pattaya where most of the staff in the Jomtien beach concession I used to go has changed - and I would say for the better as far as looks are concerned. Tam, one of his (lady boy) friends and I invited two of them and we spent some hours looking at the sunset drinking beers and teasing one another ... one of this great times only Thailand can offer. To-morrow I should know if this Sri Saket boy is more interested in Tam's looks or in my (supposed) wealth..

If Jomtien was good, the atmosphere yesterday in Sunee was rather scary ; there was another police raid on some bars like AllBoys and Euro Boys. However after the "police come" thing, there were still a lot of gems to be found there - which means you can find great lookers who are not underage ...

Well I go check again now ...

Two months to go

Nothing new since my last post, time seems to go sooooo slowly ...

I bought my plane ticket and should land on October the 17 th. My projects for this trip are some days in Hua Hin and/or Pattaya and then one week in Laos (Luang Prabang and Vientiane), and then again Pattaya for resting and sunbathing. Nice isn't it ?

Of course Tam is OK about this and he made the passport which is necessary to go to Laos also for thai citizens.

Still two months to wait now ...

Valentine's Day

Almost three months since I came back and nothing to write on my blog ... boring life, boring work and boring place ...

Once a week I chat with Tam on the phone ; I wrote him for New Year and Valentine's, sent him some money for his birthday... but I still do not know when I will see him again. He is staying at home with his mother and would like to open a restaurant in his town - if I understand correctly what he explained me in thai.

I love him but I remember my thoughts when leaving him in the airport : I feel he is depriving me from my freedom when I am in Thailand and I do not like this. Reading some posts on the CFS website (about what happens in some sleazy bars in BKK) makes me think I would like to have some crazy nights like the ones I had before we met ...

The problem is that I know well that if I break with him, I will immediately be looking for a boy like him, and will probably NOT meet this kind of boy so easily.

But probably I think too much ???

Daily routine of a former butterfly

After travelling around the country, staying in Pattaya is a major change in everyday life : nothing to plan anymore, just getting up in the morning, going to the beach and drinking at night. More than me, Tam doesn't like this routine so we try to arrange some different activities from time to time.

Resting at Haat Nang Ram Beach

Moreover I sometimes feel like stifling from so many people swarming around under the umbrellas in Jomtien, and the water there seems to be more and more dirty. So we used the freedom offered by having our own wheels to go to Sattahip beach from time to time. It is a long way (45 km) to go there especially riding a small motorbike along the road, but it is worth the ride : despite its proximity with the military harbour, Hat Nang Ram offers a quiet place with clear, warm and shallow water and the great sight of two islets - these islands being out of limit for everyone (army property). Your neighbours will be some farangs, many thai families, and sometimes groups of gorgeous young men coming for sanuking in the sea. Just avoid week-end days.

We also wandered through the Pattaya suburbs looking at the real estate projects - and there are a lot. Being not rich, and mostly being totally unsure about Thailand's future as a heaven for gay men, I do not want to buy anything for the time being but I guess the market is perhaps on the eve of booming and it could be a good time to invest now - especially because of euro's present strength. But do I trust Tam enough to put my house I would buy in his name ... the butterfly in me says no ...

Sunny Pattaya

Another good time was this tour trip to Ko Phai (Bamboo island) with no more than 15 guys (thai and farangs), and mostly gay people ; Tam had a great day fishing and swimming, and I had a great day looking at the landscapes and sunbathing ... different ways of life, same way to fulfill one's desires.





We spent the rest of our days on the most conventional way : morning in bed (for Tam) and in the hotel's roof area (for me), midday lunch at Papa David in Soi Day & Night (Tam's friends work there and the the meals are really good), and then Jomtien. As for the evenings ...

Well being a former butterfly I love bar-hopping and of course Tam doesn't. So he sometimes come with me, or gives me some 'free' time to allow me to go. This is sometimes the origin of some bad quarrels although it is perfectly agreed between us that I can "off" a boy at least short-time - too bad Tam is completely unavailable for group sex ...

At least two times we almost broke up because of a Nong Bua Lamphu beauty working in a karaoke, that I had the bad idea to chat with ... Not that I wanted to "off" this boy but I really cannot accept that anyone interferes with my freedom. It was only in the plane bringing me back to Farangland that I understood that for all that, I love him like on the first day. 

When doubting about the future of my relation with Tam, I always remember what I was really looking for when I was a bar butterfly ... a boy with whom I could stay long enough to have good time with, to travel with, to chat with .. I have found this boy now, I love him, we get along not too bad together (except as long as we do not speak about thai politics ... ). I am not sure what his love for me really is but he knows I am not financially able to support him, and despite this he has left Pattaya and stays at home when I am not in Thailand ...

Pattaya

Four days already and no new post ... time really goes very fast when in holiday in Thailand.

So in BKK I got my fix of sleaziness in Nature Boy, Super A and Screw Boy. Nature Boy was OK with 5 boys, which is more than enough in such a narrow place. Super A was very disappointing with some boys seeming really high on ya baa and other not worth climbing the stairs. Solid was better than last time, this is a gogo bar where every one seems to enjoy. Same in Screw Boys who had not a lot of customers but a great staff od boys very eager to please, using the most direct ways to show their willingness ...

On the second day in BKK we staid in Saphan Kwai which is quite lively again. Street Boys seems to do very well now with a lot of (mostly asian) customers. Heaven is a bar beer with boys (and without karaoke) and had about ten boys, of which I could have "offed" more than one. Finally we spent the evening in the neighbouring Staxx karaoke where the music is good but the air too cold.

Yesterday was the short journey to Pattaya where my two favourites places will probably be Papa David Restaurant (in Soi Day and Night) and Threezone Bar in Sunee plaza where the boys are always as attentive and good looking - not forgetting Jomtien and the hotel swimming pool of course ...

And what about the Chiang Rai boy ... well he was there at Morchit after a long travel from his place. He was introduced to the bar as promised and had his first working day there ... But he seemed very shy and could not approach the customers although there were quite a lot yesterday night ... He went to bed early, this seemed to be normal after a long travel ... This morning Tam had a phone call ... the boy was already in Nakhon Sawan, back to Chiang Rai. He simply could not get used to so many people, so many bars, and thought he could not get along with Pattaya... this remembers us that the boys in the bars make a tough job, as smiling as they can look, and we must respect them for this.

Back to Bangkok

Finally we had some quiet days in Chiang Mai and did not even bother to visit the local bars. We were very happy with the nice atmosphere of Chez Nous, one of the Night Bazaar beer bars - despite the early closing hours (midnight like the whole Night Bazaar).

Then back to BKK with a Nok Air flight which could have been like every flight except for the paying refreshments on board.

The town is very busy to-day as the students go back to school after a short holiday. I will see to-night if the bars are busy too, heading now to Silom.

Closing times ...

Even when you would want to ignore the sad truth about Thailand now, reality will catch you ... yesterday we had just arrived with Tam (and two boys from one of the Night Bazaar Bars) in Fashion House, a thai-oriented disco in Robinson Plaza near Chiang Mai airport. The place was crammed and everyone enjoying the good music and then ... all of a sudden all lights on and everyone going out, it was only 1 in the morning. One of the boys told it was because of a religious day (Ook phansaa), because this place generally closes much later. Well OK but these early closures suck big time ... I will probably not advise anyone to go to Thailand now except for the wats and the cooking ...

A new occasion to have a hot conversation with Tam about Thailand politics ... not that he favours early closing times but he seems to think this is good for the country and especially for the young ... so bad my thai is too limited to have deep discussions about Toxin and his gang... Anyway the mood was away and we came back after only 5 minutes in the disco.

Boyfriend on nature trail

To-day was a tour to Doi Inthanon (private tour with a travel agency) ...some nice views despite the haze and the clouds, and great waterfalls. We bought some winter clothes for Tam yesterday and he looked incredibly cute in them, this boy really turns me on. We walked along the nature trail on the summit of the mountain (highest point in Thailand, 2325 m above sea level)

To-morrow I will have to suffer all the Halloween craziness and on Monday back to BKK with Nok Air that I never tried before.

The Chiang Rai boy phoned yesterday and we should meet him on next Tuesday in Morchit and then go together to Pattaya ; we will introduce him to the owner of the bar. I keep you informed about his new life in Pattaya.

Chiang Rai and Chiang Mai

Chiang Rai is definitely a place to add in the gay places list in Thailand. There are only two gay bars in town, very close to each other and with the same format : one guy is dancing in his briefs for about 10 minutes and then another. Most guys are local guys and all complain about the lack of customers so guys if you happen to go in the North please go patronize the local gay places - both are located close to Wang Come Hotel.

Tam gave some advice to one of the boys in Regency Bar, and almost convinced him to go to Pattaya in one of the Sunee Plaza beer bars .. wonder if the boy will follow his advice ... Tam promised to introduce him to the owner of his bar and the boy should phone us on November 3rd so that we go there together from Bangkok.
These Northern boys are really not only cute but also seem to have a better attitude than some of the isaan boys that most of us (including me) cherish so much.

Yesterday we came back from Chiang Rai along a nice road in the mountains. After getting a room in Porn Ping Tower Hotel, we went to San Kampeng hot springs where you can hire a bungalow for one hour and bathe in the hot water. So bad we hired two bungalows, it would have been really "hot" to bathe in the same bath (although the tubs are quite small).

In the evening we went to Adam's Apple to look at the show. Very imaginative and daring as it has always been ...difficult to think that the place has just reopened from a one-month closure ...

To-day was rest time after bringing the car back to North Wheels ... a good adress if you have to rent a car in Chiang Mai.

To-night ? I don't know except that I am really in love with Tam and this keeps on surprising me because I thought I was only a butterfly and I could not get on with a boy for more than two or three weeks ...