11 December 2006

Wavering

I am now deep in the daily grind and days are getting always colder and darker. To compare these never-ending winter days with the time I spend in Thailand is probably like trying to compare death and life ...

Tam phoned me last Saturday at 7 am, three weeks after our last phone talk ... I explained him I thought he did not want to speak to me again but he answered that he had not hung up and it was only because of the bad signal that our chat had been stopped ... So much for my hope for a soft breaking off ...

I am still hesitating about breaking with him, simply because I have realised that I love him ... For my next time in Thailand, this would also mean getting back to the usual sex-tourist schemes : Pattaya, Bangkok, and the odd trip to Phuket or Chiang Mai ... I love Thailand too much to give up visiting all parts of it, and although I speak thai good enough to be able to know my way everywhere, going alone would simply not be sanuk ...

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